Fabulous And Afraid
Hi darlings happy Wednesday. Hope it’s been a fabulous week so far. I’ve been spending a lot of time alone these past few months and it’s been quite a discovery.
I realize that am still grieving and recently started going back to therapy to deal with some of the challenges that I struggle with. I also have come to realize that am afraid of being alone but it’s what I desperately need at this stage in my life.
It’s interesting because I have some of the most amazing friends and support system, yet I still find myself feeling this way which makes me realize that a part of me is missing. Am not for filled and until I can resolve some personal issues I will always find myself here.
I’ve always considered myself a strong person. Someone who is mindful and conscious but it’s amazing how fragile and unsure grief can make you feel. I always saw my life differently. The things am dealing with now are things many women deal with when they are much older. Being a widow, not having children and living alone are things that frighten me.
It’s hard to admit you are scared of the unknown but I am. All I truly want is to be happy, live the life I always dream of. To be in love, travel the world, own many businesses and have a child of my own. Will it all ever happen for me?
Lately am learning to just trust that God is in control. To leave it in his hands. I pray for guidance everyday and for him to help me find my way. He knows my heart and what I truly desire. I find peace in going to church, I find happiness in creating content. Dressing fabulously, sharing my personal style with you all. I find pleasure in my career which allows me to traveling the world and for the am grateful.
Nothing in life is perfect, all we can do is put our best foot forward, do our part, and trust in the universe. I know I deserve to be happy. I deserve the best that life has to offer. In the meantime, I will continue to trust my process, stay fabulous because I don’t know any other way lol and never give up! Who am I kidding l don’t even know how to give up.
Darlings thank you for coming into my intimate world. Allowing me to share my my life, style and heart with you. What is mine will be mine. If it’s truly meant to be, it will be. Until next time CHEERS to never giving up and finding true happiness.